Since Easter has already passed, guess it is safe to post this article from, of alll places, Arizona.
“Christianity is the belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree” – Internet meme of unknown origin.
“..and the resurrected lord Jesus appeared to his apostles and said unto them… Braaainnnnsss!” Happy Easter everyone, and in case I don’t hear from you Monday, happy 50% off the cost of egg and bunny shaped candy day! For those unfamiliar with the gospel attributed to Matthew (it was not actually written by a Matthew, but was written anonymously, and the name was assigned to it later), the resurrection narrative features a full out zombie invasion, as well as plenty of other reason to doubt its reliability.
Jesus is claimed to have resurrected from the dead. There is now some evidence that Christians are tiring of Atheist habitually calling Jesus a zombie, and using it as point of mockery. I like zombie stories and Jesus fits most popular descriptions of zombies. According to the story, Jesus died is brought reanimated and moves about. Also, Jesus has the visible wounds on his body from his crucifixion. Perhaps he lacked the mindless, slow moving man-eating behaviors of the zombies in modern movies, but the image of a dead mangled body walking about is rather zombie-like.
What is more interesting though, is that according to Matthew 27:51- 53, “And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.” This is a full out zombie invasion of a significant city, during a well recorded time in Roman antiquity. If something this unnatural and this monumental happened, it would almost certainly have been recorded by countless witnesses. Yet it appears in the Gospel attributed to Matthew and nowhere else. . . . . .
While Christians claim Easter, the most cursory of research will produce the not so hidden fact that holiday is derived from the springtime celebrations of many traditions. In any case, this is a great time of year to be alive, enjoy the pleasant experiences surrounding the vernal equinox!